Me: “So did you and <name> ever actually date?”
Friend1: “No, we were friends with benefits for a while, but that ended poorly.”
Friend2: “Yeah, friends with benefits is never a good idea. It never works out.”
Me and Griffon: *standing very quietly and not making eye contact*
Griffon: *Subject-changing question?*

I’d just like to point out that Friend2 has never been in a FwB arrangement ever, and Friend1 was in his for quite a long time before it fizzled out. I’m not really sure what they consider a successful FwB relationship that more than a year of No Strings Attached casual sex fails to meet their qualifications.

Seriously, is it “FwB rarely leads to marriage”? Because no shit.