Worldview

I’m trying to find and collect things that remind me how amazing the world is. I’m finally coming out of a particularly nasty round of depression fog, and I need to surround myself with things that emphasize the beauty of existence.

Depression is insidious because it creeps under my skin and poisons everything. It latches on to world events and whispers that this planet is full of suffering, that there is no point in working for a better life, because look, look how awful things are. Look how powerful evil and pain and greed and corruption are. Nothing will change. Nothing will improve. Then it turns inward, paging through everything I could have accomplished that I failed to. Every unfinished project, every passed opportunity. There is nothing that can’t be brought down and tarnished through the lens of depression. It’s a filter over all my senses that makes everything murky and painful, it sucks all the hope and joy out of the good things in life.

Depression makes the world very small.

I’m dedicating some time to re-discovering the beauty of human kindness, the wonder of discovery, the incredible strides that have been made toward freedom and equality. I’m building a safe haven out of stories and quotes and love and art. I’m giving myself permission to write and draw, and accepting mistakes as part of a long process. I’m stubbornly looking forward to the future, even pushing myself to believe that I can do more for myself. I can find a path that I enjoy. I can make a life doing things that I love.

Every time the fog lifts, I have to re-educate myself in optimism.

Depression makes the world very small, but depression lies.

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